The Only Method You Will Ever Need to Achieve Good Mental Health

What is good mental health?
It is the ability to be fully in reality as it is, without requiring it to be anything other than it is right now.
Having this ability ensures that you respond appropriately to situations, with the right kind of emotion and at the right level of intensity. Over time, being fully present to reality as it is now generates a stable sense of self that is non-reactive, doesn’t take things personally and greets each day with a calm, clear, light and joyful eagerness.
Contrast this with the frequently chaotic and busy mind that you are probably familiar with during stressful times. A mind that judges the present moment as never good enough. A mind that says: “I shouldn’t be feeling this way” and says “Why?” in an impatient tone, meaning “This present moment isn’t OK and if I try hard enough I can force it to be different.”
This is a cycle that creates suffering — anxiety, misery, anguish, despair and confusion.

Yet there is one simple method, if practiced daily, that yields subtle but incredible results in the direction of emotional well-being. It is this:
Each day, go for a 40- to 60-minute walk in nature (having a dog helps!). As you establish the pace of your walk, notice your surroundings. Pay full attention to the smell and the temperature of the air. Notice the color of the sky and the sounds of nature around you. Notice how you feel as your feet hit the ground and how your breathing changes rhythm as you exercise.
Once you have established this present-moment awareness, it’s time to do a check-in with yourself. Ask yourself this simple question:
“How am I doing right now?”
Answer yourself with a short phrase that accurately describes your experience, without embellishments, judgments, explanations and analyses. The description should be no more than 6 words. For example:
“I have a knot in my stomach.”
Then inquire kindly of yourself:
“What’s that like?”
Await the response patiently as you focus your attention more closely on the exact physical sensations in your body and how they shift and change as you observe. The most important thing to remember is:
Do nothing. Just listen.
Then keep describing your experience to yourself in simple, unadorned terms. If you notice that your mind starts racing, with thoughts that are based in the past or the future, or thoughts that are trying very hard to figure out what to do to solve a problem, it’s probably your inner critic wanting to take over.
The inner critic is a part of you that continually judges, criticizes and orders you around – like Lucifer prodding you with his fork. If you notice this inner critic, acknowledge that it has worked very hard for you for a very long time, probably without ever receiving acknowledgement for all its efforts. Your inner critic may be misguided in its efforts, but it is sincerely well-intentioned in trying to protect you. So ask:
“How are you doing right now?”
Allow your inner critic to tell you about his or her experience. Don’t judge the judging; instead, do nothing. Just listen.
If you practice this simple check-in process throughout your day, day in, day out, year in, year out, you will eventually acquire wisdom. You will know and understand yourself better, be more at peace, become more resilient and phase out your need to feel anxious, insecure or depressed. This basic skill, one of simply observing your experience and developing pure awareness, heals and resolves all issues. The ability to self-reflect in this way gives you greater choice in, and control over your life.
This skill has variously been called “focusing” (by Eugene Gendlin), mindfulness by Buddhists as well as psychologists who have borrowed from Buddhism, or the “observing ego” (by the Gestalt tradition). There is a vast body of research that demonstrates the effectiveness of this method in creating successful outcomes intherapy, as well as in life.

Link   http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/11/04/the-only-method-you-will-ever-need-to-achieve-good-mental-health/

5 Ways to Deal with the Stress of an Intervention

Staging an intervention for a loved one is stressful and emotionally taxing. Having an addict in your life is difficult in its own way and leads to many strong and difficult emotions, including anger, sadness, and guilt. If someone you love is addicted to drugs or alcohol, you may feel powerless and frustrated.
Ultimately, only an addict can decide to get help, but you may be able to influence his or her decision by staging an intervention. Doing so will give you and other loved ones an opportunity to communicate with the addict about the way his or her behavior is making you feel.

Deciding to stage an intervention can be very productive and helpful, but it may also mean dealing with a new set of stressors. Here are five ways to deal with the stress of staging an intervention.

1. Take time for yourself.It can be difficult, when planning an intervention, to become caught up in the person for whom you are planning it. Remember that you must make your own health and well-being a priority as well. Make sure you plan time to unwind, even if it means you have to put it in your calendar. Do not allow this time to be monopolized by anything else.
2. Exercise.Exercise increases endorphins, which naturally elevate your mood. Brisk walks can be a great way to find a few minutes of peace and quiet, and classes such as yoga offer a chance to release muscular tension while encouraging a calm state of mind.
3. Write down your thoughts and feelings.It is easy to feel overwhelmed when you are struggling with what feels like an avalanche of emotions. Your thoughts and feelings may seem much more manageable if you can write them down and look at them individually. Try journaling for just a few minutes a day or even making a list of what you feel is upsetting you.
4. Talk to other people.You should not feel that you are going through this alone. Talk to other friends and family members who are also involved in the addict’s life. They likely are experiencing similar emotions and may be able to offer you tips on how they are dealing with their stress.
   Even having a sympathetic ear can make a huge impact. You may also want to consider speaking with a therapist, who can help you sort through the thoughts and feelings you’re experiencing.
5. Do something you enjoy.Try taking your mind off things for a bit. When you are feeling depressed or anxious, you may not be as eager to partake in hobbies or activities that make you happy, but try doing them anyway. Perhaps make a new recipe, start a craft, or see a movie with friends. Having something else to focus on, even for an hour or two, can be a huge relief and may help curb some of your repeatedly cycling thoughts.

Link   http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/10/15/5-ways-to-deal-with-the-stress-of-an-intervention/

3 Practices to Calm An Anxious Mind

Anxiety affects all of us in varying degrees. You don’t have to be diagnosed with a clinical disorder to feel its insidious or intrusive effects. Fortunately, there are many ways to ease anxiety healthfully.
Mindfulness is one effective practice that helps to relax the mind and body. According to Jeffrey Brantley, M.D., and Wendy Millstine, NC, in their bookDaily Meditations for Calming Your Anxious Mind, mindfulness is:

… an awareness that is sensitive, open, kind, gentle and curious. Mindfulness is a basic human capacity. It arises from paying attention on purpose in a way that is nonjudging, friendly and does not try to add or subtract anything from whatever is happening.

In their book, Brantley and Millstine offer a variety of valuable meditations or practices that are based on mindfulness. They suggest practicing these meditations daily no matter how you’re feeling. You can start by devoting several minutes a day and working your way to 20 or 30 minutes.

The most important aspect of meditation is your attitude. According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, a scientist and meditation teacher who developed Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, there are seven attitudes that form the foundation of mindfulness practice: “nonjudging, patience, beginner’s mind, trust, nonstriving, acceptance and letting go.”
Brantley and Millstine define these attitudes in their book:

• Nonjudging or nonstriving: practicing without expecting change to occur.
• Patience: being patient toward yourself and your body when it becomes restless during meditation.
• Beginner’s mind: paying attention to each moment and to your breathing as though you’re doing it for the first time, so that you’re curious and welcoming.
• Trust: trusting yourself to be present and aware in the moment.
• Acceptance: being willing to view things in the moment, as they are, even if you don’t like them.
• Letting go: not fighting or going after something that comes into your awareness.

Also, avoid pitting yourself against anxiety as if it were an enemy to vanquish. As anxiety expert Chad LeJeune once told me, some people will use relaxation techniques as weapons in their anti-anxiety arsenal. They’ll try “to furiously breathe away their anxiety,” or get stressed out when an activity isn’t eliminating their angst. But it’s best to accept your anxiety, and your thoughts and feelings.
For instance, according to Brantley and Millstine:

As you practice, you may notice your mind is busy with thoughts. That is okay. Thoughts are not the enemy. You do not have to fight them and you do not have to follow them, either. Treat thoughts like anything else that draws your attention. Notice them, allow them to be as they are, and gently let your attention open back to, and settle on, the breath sensations.

They also remind readers that you are not your anxiety. People who struggle with anxiety tend to think it’s permanent and part of their identity. When you’re in the midst of angst, it’s understandable to think this way. But these reactions, in reality, are temporary. I love the way Brantley and Millstine explain it:

The feelings of anxiety and worry themselves are actually part of the present-moment experience and can be seen as such instead of as an absolute truth or an immutable personal defect. The shifting of attention away from the present to someplace else is usually just an unconscious habit of mind — a pattern of paying attention — that you have learned as a means of meeting life’s challenges…

Here are three of my favorite practices from the book that I think will resonate with you, too.
1. “Just the wind blowing: allowing life to move through this moment.”
You can practice this meditation when you’re relaxed or not so much. The authors suggest taking a comfortable position and focusing the attention to your breath. Breathe in deeply and imagine that you’re surrounded by beautiful nature. Picture the wind blowing around you.
As the authors write, “Let all of your conscious experience — sounds, sensations, thoughts, emotions, everything — become the wind. Feel all of it moving and changing, arriving, moving around and over you, and then going. Notice how the wind takes on different qualities — soft, strong, harsh, gusty, gentle. Relax as the wind blows around you. Let it come and go in all its forms. You remain here, in calmness, abiding.”
2. “The Tao of anxiety.”
In the moment anxiety feels anything but good or helpful. It can feel anywhere from frustrating to intrusive to downright terrifying. But anxiety can be a teaching tool, too.
According to Brantley and Millstine, “Worrisome thoughts are a sign or signal; they contain a message for you to decipher that will help guide you to a place of well-being.” They suggest asking yourself the following three questions to help you better understand yourself and figure out the changes you can make toward your well-being.

• “What can anxiety teach me?” It might teach you to be more compassionate toward individuals who also struggle with anxiety, Brantley and Millstine write. Or it might expose you to experiences that have tested your strength. “Take this still moment to acknowledge the countless times that you have faced your worst fears, fallen down, stood up again, dusted yourself off, and found the strength to move forward.”
• “What are my mind and body trying to reveal to me?”
• “What does [my] inner wisdom tell [me] must occur in order for [me] to recover?” The authors note that this is the most important question. You might be ready to examine the cause of your anxiety, resolve a conflict with a loved one or find new meaning in your life. “Let your anxiety symptoms help you see what needs to be healed in your life.”

3.  “Sea of tranquility.”
Ever notice that when you get comfortable with life, it suddenly does a 180? Life is unpredictable, and when you’re struggling with anxiety, this can be a tough thing to take. As Brantley and Millstine note, “There may be no realistic, foolproof way to be fully prepared for change, but there is a way to keep your perspective.”
This meditation, they say, helps to guide you through change. They suggest recording it so you can listen to it in future practices. Just remember to speak slowly, calmly and clearly.

1. Close your eyes and visualize yourself at the beach, sitting on the warm sands, with a refreshing sea breeze sprinkling your whole body. You are safe and secure. You are watching the waves drift in and out, over and over again. Each wave is like your breath, rising up inside from deep within and then releasing and returning out to sea.
2. What do you notice about the surface of the ocean? It’s much like your life — some parts are rough, choppy, with impending waves of uncertainty pounding away. Breathe in these moments that are challenging and upsetting. Remember that you have the stability and strength to weather the storm. Breathe out your fears and doubts about the outcome. What will be will be. Only the waves can carry all your secrets and anxieties out to sea.
3. What’s happening below the surface of the ocean? It is a calm, serene, quiet and contemplative underwater experience. Schools of fish are swimming to and fro. Sea plants are sashaying to a mysterious, musical current. Starfish cling to rocks in colorful display. Luminescent shards of sunlight splice through the water, transmitting warmth and radiance downward.
4. Depending on what life tosses your way, you may be bodysurfing the big one or floating along a sea of serenity. Be mindful of the journey, the highs and lows, the good times and the bad, the joy and the pain. Move gently with each wave.

When you’re ready, bring your attention back to where you are. As you go about your day, “carry the calm tide of the ocean within you,” according to the authors.

Link  http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/02/22/3-practices-to-calm-an-anxious-mind/

What to Eat for a Healthy Heart and a Healthy Mind

3 foods to help avoid heart disease, stroke and improve brain function.

For years experts have said what’s good for the heart is good for the head. Now, a new statement from the American Heart Association and American Stroke Association underlines the findings that the same plaque buildup in the arteries that causes heart disease can also impact the brain.

“The heart and brain are linked by arteries that supply blood, oxygen and nutrients,” says Philip B. Gorelick, M.D., M.P.H., director of the Center for Stroke Research at the University of Illinois College of Medicine. When plaque builds up and arteries harden, they deprive the heart and brain of blood—and that can lead to a heart attack or stroke.

The good news: A few simple—and tasty—choices can help protect both your ticker and your cranium.

1. Pick Fish

Research shows that eating just one or two (4-ounce) servings of fatty fish—salmon, mackerel, rainbow trout or sardines—each week can slash your risk of dying from heart disease by 36 percent. In another study, researchers tracked almost 80,000 women for 14 years and found that those who ate any type of fish at least twice a week had a 51 percent lower risk of thrombotic stroke (a type caused by clogged arteries) than those who ate fish less than once a month. A bonus: “The omega-3 fats in fish help reduce inflammation in the arterial walls and keep blood flowing to the brain,” explains Ralph Felder, M.D., Ph.D., internist and author of The Bonus Years Diet.

2. Pour a Glass Of Red Wine

Red wine contains compounds called polyphenols that help lower cholesterol and blood pressure and prevent blood clots. Research suggests one polyphenol—resveratrol—may also improve blood flow to the brain and reduce stroke risk. “Resveratrol makes the blood cells less sticky and thus thins out the blood, which prevents dangerous blood clots,” says Felder. Despite the health boons, if you don’t drink, you shouldn’t start.

3. Eat More Produce

People with high blood pressure found that for every serving of fruits and vegetables eaten, their blood flow improved (and, thus, blood pressure lowered), according to a study in the journal Circulation. In another study of adults over age 65, those who had about three servings of vegetables each day showed 40 percent less mental decline on cognitive tests than people who ate few or no vegetables. There’s another reason to load up on produce—potassium, a nutrient abundant in bananas, baked potatoes, tomatoes and artichokes, may counteract the harmful effect of salt in our diets by helping to prevent artery walls from thickening, thus reducing blood pressure.

Link  http://www.eatingwell.com/nutrition_health/nutrition_news_information/what_to_eat_for_a_healthy_heart_mind?page=4

6 Weird Things That Make You Happy

6 Weird Things That Make You Happy

Unexpected ways to boost your bliss

C'mon, get happy already!

There's the "duh" prescription for feeling good: Exercise more, hug someone, pet your Labrador retriever. Boring! Better: Positivity researchers are now turning up unexpected happiness triggers that can turn your frown upside down. Here are six fun ways that we love:

1. Tearjerker movies

Put Titanic and Atonement on your feel-good flick list. Sure, a tragic romance makes you cry in the theater, but after the credits roll, you'll remember what's good about your own main squeeze—thereby boosting happiness, Ohio State University researchers report. The sadder the plot, the happier you feel later, they say.

2. Getting older

Brain scans show that at any age, our little gray cells do a happy dance whenever we notice something good, whether it's a double-chocolate brownie, a cute baby, or a random act of kindness. Additionally, as we age, our neurons react less intensely to the negative things we see and hear. The result: Positivity prevails. Maybe that's why, in a recent national survey, 42% of those over age 50 said they felt optimistic about life's next chapters, and 60% thought they looked at least five years younger than their driver's licenses said they were.

3. A fake smile

"Grin and bear it" isn't such dumb advice after all. Faking a genuine smile—the kind that crinkles the corners of your eyes—eased stress and boosted moods in a University of Kansas study. Researchers used chopsticks placed in the mouths of the volunteers to create a broad smile, a standard smile, or a neutral face (that was to hide the reason for the study). Some were also asked to smile. Then all were subjected to stressful lab tests such as plunging their hands into ice water. Smilers, even the ones who faked it, had lower heart rates afterward, a sign that they weren't stressed out.

4. Thursdays

After we survive Blue Monday, Terrible Tuesday, and Woeful Wednesday, the 4th day of the workweek delivers a little happiness bounce. So say London School of Economics researchers who tracked the moods of 45,000 people via a smart-phone app called Mappiness. Thursday is the new Friday.

5. Doing less for your kids

Back off, Tiger Mama (and you too, Tiger Grandma). Women who practice "intense mothering"—believing that moms should always sacrifice their own needs, continually provide stimulating activities, and derive most of their happiness from their kids—tend to be more depressed than women who think that "good enough" parenting is, well, good enough. If you can't lighten up for yourself, do it for the kids. Maternal depression can interfere with the emotional bond between mother and child and can lead to increased risk of depression, anxiety, and cognitive, self-esteem, and school problems in children.

6. Reading a newspaper

If you're among the 19 million Americans who have canceled their daily paper, it's time to resubscribe or read the online edition of your local Daily Planet. Perusing a broadsheet instead of gawking at the TV emerged as a key difference between most-and least-happy folks in a University of Maryland study that analyzed how more than 30,000 people spend their free time.

Link  http://www.prevention.com/mind-body/emotional-health/surprising-things-make-you-happy/

4 Ways To Like Yourself More

4 Ways To Like Yourself More

Winning people over starts with showing yourself some love

You might be generous in dishing out encouragement to those around you, and you may even tend to give others the benefit of the doubt (except in traffic when all bets are—understandably—off). But if you’re like most people, when it comes to cheering yourself on, you don’t exactly excel. 

What gives? Many people think that loving themselves is actually being selfish—and that couldn’t be further from the truth, says Susan Blackburn, a therapist in Ontario, Canada. Selfishness is being concerned about your own interests without having regard for others, while self-love is about taking good care of yourself emotionally, spiritually, and physically, she says. 

Personal Growth & Fulfillment

If you’re still worried that self-love equals selfishness, think of it like this: Showing yourself a little TLC has big payoffs for the people around you, too. “People who engage in self-love as a way of life are vibrant and positive—celebrating yourself is what makes you a joy to be around,” says Blackburn. 

Here are four times when you need to show yourself some serious love:

During a job interview. It’s easy to wallow in negative thoughts before an interview, but if you’re particularly hard on yourself, other people won’t believe in you either. In fact, the secret to landing your dream job may not hinge on how much your interviewers like you, but in how much you like yourself, according to a new study in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology. Researchers found that people who were comfortable speaking about their own attributes performed the best in an interview setting. 

On an anniversary. “Significant dates on the calendar, especially anniversaries of the loss of a friend or family member, can summon a renewed sadness every year,” says Will Baum, a Los Angeles-based therapist. It doesn’t matter how many years ago your mom died—don’t get frustrated with yourself that you haven’t moved on, he says. It’s important to acknowledge the feelings that these milestones evoke, and then do something you enjoy to help you cope. (Try these tips on how to bounce back from a breakup.)

When your bank account hits rock bottom. It may seem counterintuitive, but the best time to celebrate yourself is when you feel like you’ve made a big mistake—whether it’s with your finances or in a relationship, says Lewis James Jordan, PhD, a therapist in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. “This is not the time to kick yourself down and feel like you’re not good enough,” says Dr. Jordan. Doing so will have negative consequences for your physical and mental health. Instead, talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a loved one in the same situation. “This is the way you deserve to be talked to and the way that you deserve to talk to yourself,” says Dr. Jordan. 

When you’re frustrated by your lack of patience. Did you just snap at your spouse about nothing, or blow up at your sister over something petty? Indulge in some “me time", stat. It’s important to take care of yourself when you’re getting frustrated with friends and family because giving yourself the royal treatment is the only way you’ll be able to make others happy, too, says Dr. Blackburn. “Self-love generates positive emotions, and subsequently feeling good leads to making good choices, such as treating others with kindness and respect,” she says. 

Link  http://www.prevention.com/mind-body/emotional-health/why-you-need-love-yourself

Are You Nice To You?

Are You Nice To You?

Don't build self-esteem—work on self-compassion

You messed up at work, had yet another argument with your partner, and caught a glimpse of yourself in a store window and were shocked by how old and tired—and frighteningly like Dame Edna—you looked. What's the best route out of the depths of self-recrimination and despair and back to happyland?

For starters, stop beating yourself up, says Kristin Neff, PhD, associate professor in human development and culture at the University of Texas at Austin. "Instead of taking a cold stiff-upper-lip approach in tough times, practice self-kindness for soothing, comfort, and happiness."

Emotional Health

Don't embark on a self-esteem-building mission, however. That'll just backfire. "Focusing on self-esteem means that underneath it all, you think you're not OK just as you are. That's not going to make you happy," says Dr. Neff, who is the author of Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind.

What will work: being your own BFF. "In 10 years, a lot of research has revealed that being good to your imperfect, all-too-human self creates lasting, measurable happiness," says Dr. Neff. Women are very skilled at showing compassion toward children, partners, and friends but tend to be stingy with kindness when it comes to themselves, she says: "A lot of women worry that being self-compassionate will make them lazy. In fact, it's just the opposite. Self-compassion helps you stick with healthy habits, work harder to reach your goals, and even improve your closest relationships." (How healthy are your friendships? Find out with our quiz!)

Rate Your NQ

The first step toward self-compassion: Rate your inner nastiness quotient with Dr. Neff's scientifically validated self-compassion quiz. (Find the long version at self-compassion.org.) This miniquiz gives you a taste of where you stand in terms of self-kindness, awareness of your inner critic, and realization that you're not the only imperfect person on the planet. For each statement below, rate how often you behave this way on a scale of 1 (almost never) to 5 (almost always).

___ 1. When I'm in emotional pain, I try to be loving toward myself.

___ 2. When I'm feeling low, I try to approach my feelings with curiosity and openness.

___ 3. When I'm down and out, I remind myself that lots of other people in the world feel like I do.

The closer your score is to 15, the more you're practicing self-compassion; the closer to a rock-bottom 3, the more you'll benefit from the following exercises.

Write yourself a short, kind letter daily for 1 week. Think about something that's bothering you, and spend 5 to 15 minutes writing about it in the same way you'd support a friend. In a 2010 study from York University in Toronto, people who did this experienced less depression for 3 months and greater happiness for 6 months.

Befriend your inner critic, paying attention to your self-talk. Don't berate your critic—thank her for trying to help, and explain that she's causing distress instead. Over time, replace critical messages with supportive ones. Nix You loser, you ate all the cookies again. Replace it with I know you ate the whole bagful because you're stressed out. But you're still tense. How about a walk instead?

"Studies show that self-compassion can help you avoid overeating, stick with an exercise routine, and work harder after a setback," Dr. Neff says.

Link  http://www.prevention.com/mind-body/emotional-health/how-build-self-compassion

Relaxation Techniques for Stress Relief

Finding the Relaxation Exercises That Work for You

For many of us, relaxation means zoning out in front of the TV at the end of a stressful day. But this does little to reduce the damaging effects of stress. To effectively combat stress, we need to activate the body's natural relaxation response. You can do this by practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, rhythmic exercise, and yoga. Fitting these activities into your life can help reduce everyday stress and boost your energy and mood.

The relaxation response: Bringing your nervous system back into balance

Stress is necessary for life. You need stress for creativity, learning, and your very survival. Stress is only harmful when it becomes overwhelming and interrupts the healthy state of equilibrium that your nervous system needs to remain in balance. Unfortunately, overwhelming stress has become an increasingly common characteristic of contemporary life. When stressors throw your nervous system out of balance, relaxation techniques can bring it back into a balanced state by producing the relaxation response, a state of deep calmness that is the polar opposite of the stress response.

When stress overwhelms your nervous system your body is flooded with chemicals that prepare you for "fight or flight." While the stress response can be lifesaving in emergency situations where you need to act quickly, it wears your body down when constantly activated by the stresses of everyday life. The relaxation response puts the brakes on this heightened state of readiness and brings your body and mind back into a state of equilibrium.

Producing the relaxation response

A variety of different relaxation techniques can help you bring your nervous system back into balance by producing the relaxation response. The relaxation response is not lying on the couch or sleeping but a mentally active process that leaves the body relaxed, calm, and focused.

Learning the basics of these relaxation techniques isn’t difficult, but it does take practice. Most stress experts recommend setting aside at least 10 to 20 minutes a day for your relaxation practice. If you’d like to get even more stress relief, aim for 30 minutes to an hour. If that sounds like a daunting commitment, remember that many of these techniques can be incorporated into your existing daily schedule—practiced at your desk over lunch or on the bus during your morning commute.

Finding the relaxation technique that’s best for you

There is no single relaxation technique that is best for everyone. When choosing a relaxation technique, consider your specific needs, preferences, fitness level, and the way you tend to react to stress. The right relaxation technique is the one that resonates with you, fits your lifestyle, and is able to focus your mind and interrupt your everyday thoughts in order to elicit the relaxation response. In many cases, you may find that alternating or combining different techniques will keep you motivated and provide you with the best results.

How you react to stress may influence the relaxation technique that works best for you:

How do you react to stress?
Do you tend to become angry, agitated, or keyed up?
You may respond best to relaxation techniques that quiet you down, such as meditation, deep breathing, or guided imagery
Do you tend to become depressed, withdrawn, or spaced out?
You may respond best to relaxation techniques that are stimulating and that energize your nervous system, such as rhythmic exercise
Do you tend to freeze-speeding up internally, while slowing down externally?
Your challenge is to identify relaxation techniques that provide both safety and stimulation to help you “reboot” your system. Techniques such as mindfulness walking or power yoga might work well for you

Do you need alone time or social stimulation?

If you crave solitude, solo relaxation techniques such as meditation or progressive muscle relaxation will give you the space to quiet your mind and recharge your batteries. If you crave social interaction, a class setting will give you the stimulation and support you’re looking for. Practicing with others may also help you stay motivated.

Relaxation technique 1: Breathing meditation for stress relief

With its focus on full, cleansing breaths, deep breathing is a simple, yet powerful, relaxation technique. It’s easy to learn, can be practiced almost anywhere, and provides a quick way to get your stress levels in check. Deep breathing is the cornerstone of many other relaxation practices, too, and can be combined with other relaxing elements such as aromatherapy and music. All you really need is a few minutes and a place to stretch out.

Practicing deep breathing meditation

The key to deep breathing is to breathe deeply from the abdomen, getting as much fresh air as possible in your lungs. When you take deep breaths from the abdomen, rather than shallow breaths from your upper chest, you inhale more oxygen. The more oxygen you get, the less tense, short of breath, and anxious you feel.

• Sit comfortably with your back straight. Put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.
• Breathe in through your nose. The hand on your stomach should rise. The hand on your chest should move very little.
• Exhale through your mouth, pushing out as much air as you can while contracting your abdominal muscles. The hand on your stomach should move in as you exhale, but your other hand should move very little.
• Continue to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try to inhale enough so that your lower abdomen rises and falls. Count slowly as you exhale.

If you find it difficult breathing from your abdomen while sitting up, try lying on the floor. Put a small book on your stomach, and try to breathe so that the book rises as you inhale and falls as you exhale.

Relaxation technique 2: Progressive muscle relaxation for stress relief

Progressive muscle relaxation involves a two-step process in which you systematically tense and relax different muscle groups in the body.

With regular practice, progressive muscle relaxation gives you an intimate familiarity with what tension—as well as complete relaxation—feels like in different parts of the body. This awareness helps you spot and counteract the first signs of the muscular tension that accompanies stress. And as your body relaxes, so will your mind. You can combine deep breathing with progressive muscle relaxation for an additional level of stress relief.

Practicing progressive muscle relaxation

Before practicing Progressive Muscle Relaxation, consult with your doctor if you have a history of muscle spasms, back problems, or other serious injuries that may be aggravated by tensing muscles.

Most progressive muscle relaxation practitioners start at the feet and work their way up to the face. For a sequence of muscle groups to follow, see the box below.

• Loosen your clothing, take off your shoes, and get comfortable.
• Take a few minutes to relax, breathing in and out in slow, deep breaths.
• When you’re relaxed and ready to start, shift your attention to your right foot. Take a moment to focus on the way it feels.
• Slowly tense the muscles in your right foot, squeezing as tightly as you can. Hold for a count of 10.
• Relax your right foot. Focus on the tension flowing away and the way your foot feels as it becomes limp and loose.
• Stay in this relaxed state for a moment, breathing deeply and slowly.
• When you’re ready, shift your attention to your left foot. Follow the same sequence of muscle tension and release.
• Move slowly up through your body, contracting and relaxing the muscle groups as you go.
• It may take some practice at first, but try not to tense muscles other than those intended.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation Sequence

The most popular sequence runs as follows:

Right foot* Left foot Right calf Left calf Right thigh

Left thigh Hips and buttocks Stomach Chest Back

Right arm and hand Left arm and hand Neck and shoulders Face

* If you are left-handed you may want to begin with your left foot instead.

Relaxation technique 3: Body scan meditation for stress relief

A body scan is similar to progressive muscle relaxation except, instead of tensing and relaxing muscles, you simply focus on the sensations in each part of your body.

Practicing body scan meditation

• Lie on your back, legs uncrossed, arms relaxed at your sides, eyes open or closed. Focus on your breathing , allowing your stomach to rise as you inhale and fall as you exhale. Breathe deeply for about two minutes, until you start to feel comfortable and relaxed.
• Turn your focus to the toes of your right foot. Notice any sensations you feel while continuing to also focus on your breathing. Imagine each deep breath flowing to your toes. Remain focused on this area for one to two minutes.
• Move your focus to the sole of your right foot. Tune in to any sensations you feel in that part of your body and imagine each breath flowing from the sole of your foot. After one or two minutes, move your focus to your right ankle and repeat. Move to your calf, knee, thigh, hip, and then repeat the sequence for your left leg. From there, move up the torso, through the lower back and abdomen, the upper back and chest, and the shoulders. Pay close attention to any area of the body that causes you pain or discomfort.
• Move your focus to the fingers on your right hand and then move up to the wrist,  forearm, elbow, upper arm, and shoulder. Repeat for your left arm. Then move through the neck and throat, and finally all the regions of your face, the back of the head, and the top of the head. Pay close attention to your jaw, chin, lips, tongue, nose, cheeks, eyes, forehead, temples and scalp. When you reach the very top of your head, let your breath reach out beyond your body and imagine yourself hovering above yourself. 
• After completing the body scan, relax for a while in silence and stillness, noting how your body feels. Then open your eyes slowly. Take a moment to stretch, if necessary.

For a guided body scan meditation, see the Resources section below.

Relaxation technique 4: Mindfulness for stress relief

Mindfulness is the ability to remain aware of how you’re feeling right now, your “moment-to-moment” experience—both internal and external. Thinking about the past—blaming and judging yourself—or worrying about the future can often lead to a degree of stress that is overwhelming. But by staying calm and focused in the present moment, you can bring your nervous system back into balance. Mindfulness can be applied to activities such as walking, exercising, eating, or meditation.

Meditations that cultivate mindfulness have long been used to reduce overwhelming stress. Some of these meditations bring you into the present by focusing your attention on a single repetitive action, such as your breathing, a few repeated words, or flickering light from a candle. Other forms of mindfulness meditation encourage you to follow and then release internal thoughts or sensations.

Practicing mindfulness meditation

Key points in mindfulness mediation are:

• A quiet environment. Choose a secluded place in your home, office, garden, place of worship, or in the great outdoors where you can relax without distractions or interruptions.
• A comfortable position. Get comfortable, but avoid lying down as this may lead to you falling asleep. Sit up with your spine straight, either in a chair or on the floor. You can also try a cross-legged or lotus position.
• A point of focus. This point can be internal – a feeling or imaginary scene – or something external - a flame or meaningful word or phrase that you repeat it throughout your session. You may meditate with eyes open or closed. Also choose to focus on an object in your surroundings to enhance your concentration, or alternately, you can close your eyes.
• An observant, noncritical attitude. Don’t worry about distracting thoughts that go through your mind or about how well you’re doing. If thoughts intrude during your relaxation session, don’t fight them. Instead, gently turn your attention back to your point of focus.

Relaxation technique 5: Visualization meditation for stress relief

Visualization, or guided imagery, is a variation on traditional meditation that requires you to employ not only your visual sense, but also your sense of taste, touch, smell, and sound. When used as a relaxation technique, visualization involves imagining a scene in which you feel at peace, free to let go of all tension and anxiety.

Choose whatever setting is most calming to you, whether it’s a tropical beach, a favorite childhood spot, or a quiet wooded glen. You can do this visualization exercise on your own in silence, while listening to soothing music, or with a therapist (or an audio recording of a therapist) guiding you through the imagery. To help you employ your sense of hearing you can use a sound machine or download sounds that match your chosen setting—the sound of ocean waves if you’ve chosen a beach, for example.

Practicing visualization

Find a quiet, relaxed place. Beginners sometimes fall asleep during a visualization meditation, so you might try sitting up or standing.

Close your eyes and let your worries drift away. Imagine your restful place. Picture it as vividly as you can—everything you can see, hear, smell, and feel. Visualization works best if you incorporate as many sensory details as possible, using at least three of your senses. When visualizing, choose imagery that appeals to you; don’t select images because someone else suggests them, or because you think they should be appealing. Let your own images come up and work for you.

If you are thinking about a dock on a quiet lake, for example:

• Walk slowly around the dock and notice the colors and textures around you.
• Spend some time exploring each of your senses.
• See the sun setting over the water.
• Hear the birds singing.
• Smell the pine trees.
• Feel the cool water on your bare feet.
• Taste the fresh, clean air.

Enjoy the feeling of deep relaxation that envelopes you as you slowly explore your restful place. When you are ready, gently open your eyes and come back to the present.

Don't worry if you sometimes zone out or lose track of where you are during a guided imagery session.  This is normal. You may also experience feelings of stiffness or heaviness in your limbs, minor, involuntary muscle-movements, or even cough or yawn. Again, these are normal responses.

Relaxation technique 6: Yoga and tai chi for stress relief

Yoga involves a series of both moving and stationary poses, combined with deep breathing. As well as reducing anxiety and stress, yoga can also improve flexibility, strength, balance, and stamina. Practiced regularly, it can also strengthen the relaxation response in your daily life. Since injuries can happen when yoga is practiced incorrectly, it’s best to learn by attending group classes, hiring a private teacher, or at least following video instructions.

What type of yoga is best for stress?

Although almost all yoga classes end in a relaxation pose, classes that emphasize slow, steady movement, deep breathing, and gentle stretching are best for stress relief.

• Satyananda is a traditional form of yoga. It features gentle poses, deep relaxation, and meditation, making it suitable for beginners as well as anyone primarily looking for stress reduction.
• Hatha yoga is also reasonably gentle way to relieve stress and is suitable for beginners. Alternately, look for labels like gentle, for stress relief, or for beginners when selecting a yoga class.
• Power yoga, with its intense poses and focus on fitness, is better suited to those looking for stimulation as well as relaxation.

If you’re unsure whether a specific yoga class is appropriate for stress relief, call the studio or ask the teacher.

Tai chi

If you’ve ever seen a group of people in the park slowly moving in synch, you’ve probably witnessed tai chi. Tai chi is a self-paced, non-competitive series of slow, flowing body movements. These movements emphasize concentration, relaxation, and the conscious circulation of vital energy throughout the body. Though tai chi has its roots in martial arts, today it is primarily practiced as a way of calming the mind, conditioning the body, and reducing stress. As in meditation, tai chi practitioners focus on their breathing and keeping their attention in the present moment.

Tai chi is a safe, low-impact option for people of all ages and levels of fitness, including older adults and those recovering from injuries. Like yoga, once you’ve learned the basics of tai chi or qi gong, you can practice alone or with others, tailoring your sessions as you see fit.

Making relaxation techniques a part of your life

The best way to start and maintain a relaxation practice is to incorporate it into your daily routine. Between work, family, school, and other commitments, though, it can be tough for many people to find the time. Fortunately, many of the techniques can be practiced while you’re doing other things.

Rhythmic exercise as a mindfulness relaxation technique

Rhythmic exercise—such as running, walking, rowing, or cycling—is most effective at relieving stress when performed with relaxation in mind. As with meditation, mindfulness requires being fully engaged in the present moment, focusing your mind on how your body feels right now. As you exercise, focus on the physicality of your body’s movement and how your breathing complements that movement. If your mind wanders to other thoughts, gently return to focusing on your breathing and movement.

If walking or running, for example, focus on each step—the sensation of your feet touching the ground, the rhythm of your breath while moving, and the feeling of the wind against your face.

Tips for fitting relaxation techniques into your life

• If possible, schedule a set time to practice each day. Set aside one or two periods each day. You may find that it’s easier to stick with your practice if you do it first thing in the morning, before other tasks and responsibilities get in the way.
• Practice relaxation techniques while you’re doing other things. Meditate while commuting to work on a bus or train, or waiting for a dentist appointment. Try deep breathing while you’re doing housework or mowing the lawn. Mindfulness walking can be done while exercising your dog, walking to your car, or climbing the stairs at work instead of using the elevator. Once you’ve learned techniques such as tai chi, you can practice them in your office or in the park at lunchtime.
• If you exercise, improve the relaxation benefits by adopting mindfulness. Instead of zoning out or staring at a TV as you exercise, try focusing your attention on your body. If you’re resistance training, for example, focus on coordinating your breathing with your movements and pay attention to how your body feels as you raise and lower the weights.
• Avoid practicing when you’re sleepy. These techniques can relax you so much that they can make you very sleepy, especially if it’s close to bedtime. You will get the most benefit if you practice when you’re fully awake and alert. Do not practice after eating a heavy meal or while using drugs, tobacco, or alcohol.
• Expect ups and downs. Don’t be discouraged if you skip a few days or even a few weeks. It happens. Just get started again and slowly build up to your old momentum
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• Link   http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_relief_meditation_yoga_relaxation.htm